When you are gone
by jantomuchlove
Summary: Ianto is feeling alone. Jack has left to be with the Doctor, yet Ianto keeps some hope that Jack will come back. One shot set from Iantos POV. Set between the end of TW 1 and the beginning of TW 2. Please read and review...


A/N: I found this in a book I haven't seen in years it is probably terrible but you know I was 15 when I wrote it...

Disclaimer: Torchwood does not belong to me. Russell would not trust me with them...

Warning: Some swearing and references to the end of series 1 and beginning of series 2 (Mainly just the idea of Jack leaving)

Ianto's POV:

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><p>Emptiness he left me. I spent the first week begging your god to bring him back to me. Now I feel nothing, everything seems numb, yes it still hurts but now I do not show it anymore. It is controlled no one sees my pain, it is buried deep down. Only surfacing when I am alone, curled up in bed sobbing my heart out, no one hears my pain it is silent. They don't realise, I get them coffee cater their every need, with that plastered smile. They never see me glancing at my stopwatch, counting the days you left me- 84 days, as in 3 months- I have been alone that long, simply waiting, waiting for him to bring my heart back, so that he can place it back in and allow it to flutter madly when he touches me.<p>

They have left as well now left me alone to my thoughts. They all have their lovers; Tosh and Owen have each other. Yes they think I don't see their loved up smiles, but I would know it anywhere it is the look I have seen in my mirror so many times. The glazed eyes and the goofy smile at the mere thought of Jack, yes it took me only 2 weeks to figure them out even with Owen's secrecy. So when they left within minutes of each other I knew they were off to Tosh's house if her blush was anything to go on.

Gwen had left before anyone, no there was no bitterness left it had left long ago with my paranoia of the idea of Gwen stealing _my Jack... _she had a husband she adored and a son she was so proud of even if the newborn was born 1 month early. Jack had not even known she was pregnant; he is in for such a shock when he meets the adorable little boy. Little Cade was delivered at the Hub, after Gwen was attacked by a weevil; she was badly injured and went into labour. She kept fighting the weevil even after it had given her a stomach wound protecting, her son until I arrived to sedate the weevil. That is where she got the idea of Cade for a name. She believed he was the only reason why she kept fighting; his name means spirit of the battle. I remembered that night well, the first time I delivered a baby. It was terrifying. We could not get hold of Owen it seemed he had turned his phone off, Tosh had as well. So I delivered Cade Williams on Jack's mattress. The thought gave me a little pleasure to know he would be angry at me upon his return to see I had ruined his mattress, (keep your dirty thoughts to yourself) not like there is me I am nothing without Jack I knew he would leave me, leave them to be with _his Doctor_. Yet I still believe he will come back, but I am giving up, my hope is being swallowed up by pain and misery. I cleaned up their mess and made my way home. So that is where I am now curled up in bed I have even resorted to cuddling his pillow, it wasn't really Jack's but it smelt of him, it did the first time I clutched it to my chest anyway, now it simply smells of me. I need him to come back it is no longer a want it has become a need, like I cannot breathe properly, I feel incomplete. I eventually cry myself to sleep with only sweet dreams of Jack to comfort me wishing it was his steady heartbeats lulling me to sleep.

Waking up from my sleep I hear someone stub their town and mutter a pained "fuck" I groan into my pillow and through a sleepy haze I growl "just get into bed Jack you are thundering around like a bull in a china shop" the shuffling stops all together and I feel warm breath against my cheek as Jack climbs into my bed. I feel strong arms wrap around me and pull me close. I hum but through my foggy brain I realise something isn't right. My eyes open quickly and I turn to look at him "Jack?" He smiled at my reaction. He was here really here it was not just a dream.

"Missed me Yan?" he asked pulling me flush against his chest which I noticed was bare.

Then I remembered I was furious with him. How dare he leave without warning and come back into my bed with a one liner that he thought was clever. He didn't expect the fist that I brought down on his chest in fury, he cried out in pain and I felt a small smile pull across my lips at the idea that he had not been expecting me to hit him. I hit him again and again. Pure anger but he was ready for the next few blows catching my wrists after I tried to hit him the 4th time. "Let go of me Jack Harkness, how dare you turn up in my bed after you left me for 84 days. You bloody bastard!" I tried to pull away from him but he just griped me harder. "Nothing, not even a goodbye... I didn't even know if you were coming back..."I sighed, the fight leaving me. I collapsed against his chest and did the most embarrassing thing my brain could come up with, I sobbed. Jack had let go of my wrist and pulled me closer to him whilst I wrapped my arms around his chest, clinging to him. He ran his fingers through my hair whilst whispering "I'm sorry Yan" into my ear.

He lifted my chin gently and looked into my eyes. "Yan look at me." I tried to pull away but he held on a little tighter. "No Ianto this is important I need you to look at me" he sighed happily when I complied. "Ianto I will never leave you again. I need you to understand that, not like that I need you too much and I never realised I could of lost you. I took you for granted and I am sorry, I was worried that you would not be here when I got back." He seemed to blush but ran his finger over my lips to stop me from speaking. "I need you, I just cannot believe it took me to go to hell and back to realise I lov-" I slammed my lips against his, I tried to stop myself but the more I felt his sweet breaths ghosting my lips the more I lost control. What he had just described I needed more, I didn't need him to tell me he loved me or that he would never leave me. I didn't want him to promise me something I knew he would have to break; I just needed the pain to leave even if it was just for now. His fingers delved into my hair pulling me closer as I swiped my tongue over his lips. He did not have a chance to fight back as I took control of his mouth beginning a tempo he could not keep up with. I mapped out his mouth, running my tongue along his teeth counting each one, before duelling with his tongue; shivers ran through my body as his moaned into my mouth. He now had one hand running up and down my back leaving goose bumps in its path; the other was still wrapped tightly in my hair pulling at the strands as though it was his life line. I pulled him closer not letting him leave me I watched him even though I was so close, he had his eyes closed and the look of pleasure on his face made my heart beat a little faster. He did not try to dominate the kiss he knew I needed this, to be able to get it out of my system. When the need to breath became too much I pulled back slightly. Jack did not seem to agree as he tried to pull my lips closer nipping at my throat gently when he couldn't reach my lips.

"Jack" I tried to be stern but it came out as a choked moan. He licked at the bite, trying to make me forget what I was about to say. What was I saying- oh that tongue it should be a sin, Jack began to pepper kisses down my throat as he scraped his nails lightly across my back not stopping till he was stroking my backside. The sharp bite on my shoulder brought me out of my haze. I shook my head at him, he tried to act innocent but his lips twitched at the corners. "Jack you are not off the hook but I want to go to sleep... no we are not going to have sex, you are lucky I don't make you sleep on the floor" At the thought alone he pulled me tighter breathing in deeply and blowing it into my ear, I whimpered. "I am serious Cariad, don't think you can just get into my bed and try to woo me" he stiffened against me and I pulled away to look into his eyes. I could see his tears. "Jack Cariad what is wrong?" I was scared Jack never cried, not if he could help it anyway. He never said anything just pulled me closer littering kisses to my hair breathing me in, I could feel his tears hitting my hair as he shook trying to control himself. He did not want to speak so I kissed his chest stroked his arms anything that gave my love comfort.

After a while his sobs subsided and I pulled away from his tight embrace as his breathing evened out. Jack Harkness my Jack had cried himself to sleep. I lay down next to him and got comfortable; his body seemed to know it was me as he lay his head against my chest snuggling into my embrace. Tomorrow was the day for questions, for tonight was time to hold my love close and keep his nightmares away. I think that is a job for me as I am Jones Ianto Jones. The man who the mighty Jack Harkness came back for.

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><p>Reviews are like cookies they make me happy...<p> 


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